You gotta want it ... bad!

We’ve all been there. You say something completely innocent—maybe even helpful—like, “Oh, you’re getting so much better at that!” only to be met with a look that says, “Really? You think I was bad at it before?” Suddenly, you're in an awkward verbal dance, trying to backtrack and explain that you didn’t mean it like that, while they’re already mentally writing you off as someone who low-key insults people for fun. And you're left wondering: why don’t people give you the benefit of the doubt?

Part of the problem is that humans, for all our advances in technology and art, still have the uncanny ability to misinterpret each other like it's a competitive sport. Every conversation is like walking through a funhouse of mirrors: what you say is often warped by the listener’s mood, personal experiences, and, let’s be honest, whether or not they’ve had their coffee yet.

Take this classic example: you send an email to your colleague with a simple request, but for some reason, they interpret it like you’ve just insulted their entire career trajectory. Your harmless “Can you send this over by noon?” turns into “I question your work ethic and punctuality” in their mind. Next thing you know, they’re giving you short responses and acting like you stole their lunch out of the office fridge.

It’s not just a workplace thing, either. Try texting “We need to talk” to a friend without them spiralling into a panic. You meant it as, “Hey, I’ve got some fun gossip to share!” but they read it as “This is the end of our friendship as we know it.” Context matters, and sometimes people just don’t have enough of it to see your good intentions.

So why don’t people just assume the best? Well, for starters, we’ve all had those moments where someone says something that sounds innocuous but is actually a veiled critique—like that time Aunt Susan said you looked “so much healthier” (code for “you’ve gained weight”). So, our brains get used to playing detective, looking for hidden meanings even when none exist.

The trick to surviving this communication minefield is to expect misunderstandings and treat them like a weird social game. If you find yourself misinterpreted, resist the urge to over-explain (which only makes you sound more guilty) and hit them with, “I know that didn’t come out right—what I meant was…” Keep it light because humour is the universal reset button in awkward moments.

On the flip side, if you’re on the receiving end, try hitting pause before you jump to conclusions. Ask yourself: “Is this person usually a jerk, or are they having a normal human moment?” Most of the time, it’s the latter.

At the end of the day, if we all gave each other the benefit of the doubt, the world would be a less stressful place. Or at least we’d all get fewer passive-aggressive emails.