The Road to Hell (at Work) is Paved with Good Intentions
At work, good intentions can go awry in so many ways.
One manager I worked with genuinely wanted to be approachable and helpful. She regularly told her team, “My door is always open.” But over time, her open-door policy became a revolving door. People constantly interrupted her, and she started missing her own deadlines. Resentment built on both sides. Her team felt unsupported because she was visibly stressed, and Sarah felt frustrated that her attempts to be available had backfired.
Another colleague, Alex, worked on a team where one person, Jordan, reworded her emails before sending them to stakeholders. Jordan thought they were being helpful by "polishing" the communication, but Alex felt undermined, as if their work wasn’t good enough. Tensions grew over time. Alex began holding back on sharing ideas in meetings, while Jordan became frustrated that Alex wasn’t contributing as much as before. Neither addressed the issue directly, so they both started making assumptions: Alex thought Jordan was being controlled, and Jordan thought Alex was disengaged.
And many of us will have worked with a team member on a project so eager to help that they volunteered for tasks they didn’t have time to complete. Their enthusiasm created unrealistic expectations for others, and tensions rose when things inevitably fell through.
So what do we do when it all starts to go a bit pear-shaped?
When Things Go Wrong: Managing Ourselves and Our Reactions
When workplace dynamics feel like they’re spiralling, it’s tempting to point fingers. But often, the first step is to turn inward and check our own responses.
Pause Before Reacting: A heated email or an offhand comment can feel like a personal attack, but reacting impulsively often worsens the situation. Take a moment to breathe, step back, and consider: What else might be going on for this person?
Clarify Intentions: Instead of assuming malice, ask questions to understand where someone is coming from. Phrases like, “Can you walk me through your thinking on this?” or “What were you hoping to achieve here?” can open up dialogue and diffuse tension.
Name the Impact: If someone’s actions have affected you negatively, address it in a constructive way. Acknowledge their likely good intentions while explaining the impact on you: “I know you were trying to be helpful by stepping in, but it made it harder for me to keep track of the project.”
“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.”
Helping Others Be More Aware
Encouraging awareness in others isn’t about lecturing or blaming. It’s about creating space for reflection.
Model the Behavior: Demonstrate self-awareness and accountability. When you make a mistake, own it and share what you’ve learned.
Ask Reflective Questions: Encourage others to think critically about their actions. Questions like, “How do you think this approach is working for the team?” or “What would you do differently next time?” can gently prompt awareness.
Celebrate Effort and Feedback. Recognise when someone acknowledges a misstep or tries a new approach. Reinforce the behaviour you want to see more of.
The Power of Collective Good Intentions
It’s easy to feel stuck in a cycle of blame and defensiveness when work gets tough. But by managing our own reactions and helping others reflect, we can start to shift the dynamics. It’s not about striving for perfection—it’s about creating a culture where good intentions are paired with self-awareness and thoughtful action.
Because let’s face it: even when the road gets bumpy, most of us still want the same things—to get along, get stuff done, and feel happy. Let’s pave the way together.….