The Art of Outsmarting Your Inner Critic (and Blaming Your Sister for Everything)

Lately, my mum has developed a habit of critiquing herself over the smallest things.

She forgets to do something: I’m such an idiot!

She drops something: I’m so clumsy!

She walks into a room and forgets why: I’m losing it!

Naturally, I wanted to help.

First, I tried reassurance: “Oh, that happens to everyone, don’t worry!” No impact. Then, I went for the direct approach: “Cut that out! Be nice to yourself! You wouldn’t talk to a friend like that.” No luck. Finally, I appealed to logic: “You know, talking to yourself like this actually shuts down the part of your brain that helps you think better.” Nada.

So we upped the game.

Stage 1: Modelling Good Behaviour

I started demonstrating a new approach in front of her: Me, strolling into a room: “Hmm… what did I come in here for? Ah, never mind. It’ll come to me.” (Big, nonchalant shrug.) Or: “Oh look, I dropped the lid. No big deal—I’ll just pick it up.” (Cue dramatic lack of self-criticism.)

Still, Mum wasn’t quite convinced.

Stage 2: Blaming the Environment

If you can’t change the habit, change the villain. I began yelling at inanimate objects: Forgot why you came into a room? “Curse you, Room! You do this to me ALL the time. You SUCK.” Dropped something? “That’s it, Lid. One more stunt like this and you’re getting recycled.”

This was mildly effective, but we still needed a final push.

Stage 3: Blaming Lynda (Who Wasn't Even There)

For peak entertainment, I started attributing everything to my sister. “Oh, that was Lynda. She’s been secretly rearranging things just to confuse you.”

Or, my personal favorite: “Yep, Lynda invented a cerebral dampener that makes you forget what you were doing. It moves around the house, so you never know when it’ll strike. You should definitely disinherit her.”

Did any of this actually work? Hard to say. But we did laugh—a lot. And if nothing else, I figure the laughter went some way to balancing out the self-criticism.

Now that Lynda’s back, it’s only fair that she takes over. I fully expect to be blamed for all future household mishaps.

Want to Try This at Home?

  1. Mess up (because you’re human).

  2. Model a calm, non-judgmental response.

  3. Blame the environment—but keep it light.

  4. Blame an absent family member (gently and with humour).

  5. Most importantly, laugh because an inner critic that’s out in the open is far easier to disarm.

Gayle Smerdon