The problem with being a reasonable human being at work

You are a reasonable person. At work, you want to do the right thing. You want to model the kinds of behaviours that you see as being important - kindness, accountability, fairness - that sort of thing.

But some days it can be really hard to live up to your values. Especially when people and systems are being unreasonable or downright mean.

Now I am sure there are many people who don't have the struggles I sometimes do to keep my cool when people are being arses and systems are incredibly illogical and unnecessarily complex and opaque.

I would curse myself for my decision to try to be a decent human being - if I did things like cursing myself and others. And on occasion, I really really very much want to.

There are days when I feel I have made a rod for my own back by trying to be more than simply civil. Times when I do want to lash out. Luckily, as I get older, this seems to happen less and less.

It's our job to manage our emotions in the workplace - and everywhere. But we know we are not built to do this when we are tired or stressed. Our brains simply run out of brake fluid, and we are less able to stop these unwanted behaviours.

So, be compassionate about your desire to have a meltdown or embark on a tirade. Find a way to channel it. Ultimately, it's not going to help.

ONE THING I do is share my feelings with a trusted confident outside the organisation and do it for a predefined time. You don't want to be that guy who goes on and on and on.

Giving yourself some time and space can help you calm down a little and allow your brain to recover enough to start thinking more rationally and broadly and see things you may not have considered before.

We cast a long shadow when we are cruel to ourselves and others. So find another way.

#makeworklessshit #negativebehavours #civility #accountability