It can be hard to influence changes in behaviour when talking to someone overwhelmed at work.

There is so much to do. I have to do it. If I don't work overtime and start early, or work late, or do it on the weekends, nothing will get done, and the work will pile up and get worse.

I can't delegate because my team is too busy, or they cannot do this, or I can do it faster.

And it's not about my ability to prioritise. I do that, but the tasks at the bottom of the pile still need to be done, and I know that more urgent tasks are coming down the pipeline.

There is no more money for support, and hiring someone and getting them up to speed would add to the workload.

“On an exhausted field, only weeds grow.”

— Henryk Sienkiewicz

Suggesting things that might work is challenging because they've usually tried them [not always thoroughly] and they didn't help or because they are not the real issue.

The conversation circles endlessly around the problem. It's as if an irresistible force traps people like they are on that amusement park ride that spins around and around. Centrifugal forces hold you in place as the ride's floor slips slowly away, and things twist and tip around and around.

So, how do you support someone to see a clear path to a more balanced approach?

I see what works: people being flung off the ride. They burn out, get ill or are restructured out of the organisation. Then, as the spinning slows, people get over any injury from flying off the Cetron, Rotor, or Gravitron [whatever it's called] and landing on the ground. They pick themselves up, the vertigo starts to subside, and they ask themselves, "What was I thinking?"

But that is hardly an ideal solution.

And let's be clear - facts are not going to help. It won't help to know that overwork damages your health, makes you more likely to make mistakes, reduces efficiency, and negatively impacts your relationships, leadership ability, thinking, decision-making, and creative skills.

People who are stressed and exhausted from overwork

are not thinking clearly - the brain fatigues and impacts healthy function
have a fear or belief they are locked into - they won't be seen as a good person, will be seen as lazy, fear losing their job and worry about the financial impact or other people's perceptions of them, etc.
don't believe they have a choice - they have handed over their power.

You can try finding ways to help by encouraging, normalising or enforcing breaks. If you have the right relationship and the capability, try to understand what is at the heart of their concerns and coach them to identify options that address them. Or encourage them to talk to someone.

We change due to crisis, chance, or choice. Please don't wait for a crisis or leave it to chance. You can choose to think about what's important. It doesn't mean you don't work hard, but "They answered every email" is probably not what you want on your headstone.

You spin me right round, baby: Why it's so hard to escape the overwork cycle.