How to tell your boss they suck at something (or - upward feedback)

We know that your boss is a make-or-break factor in your enjoyment, productivity and well-being at work. If you feel things are heading to the 'break' side, you might want to consider what you can do before you feel the need to make an actual break and leave, or have a breakdown.

Giving your boss feedback on their performance can be a bit daunting, that's true. And it takes a little courage So, here are a few things to consider:

> Set the stage

Think about the environment. Do they know why there are there? You don't need to try the case in your invitation. Just be clear that there is something you would like to talk through with them.

And consider if it's somewhere you will have their full attention and are unlikely to be disturbed. Are you calm and have a positive, curious mindset rather than feeling overly emotional? Not because emotions are bad. You may risk your manager getting defensive or aggressive to match your approach. The goal is to improve the working relationship, not to attack or criticize your boss.

> Address your concern

Get to the point and be clear and specific about what you are noticing and experiencing. Share what the impact is on you. And ask for their perspective. Listen to what they have to say and be open to their feedback. Suggest finding a way forward that is better for both of you.

> Go forward

Agree on trying new ways - like an experiment. Trying something out is less threatening than setting something in stone (but this may not apply where value boundaries are crossed). Plus, it sets up the expectation that you will review how things are going. So set that up too.

Trying to move ahead positively means addressing concerns before they make your head explode. And it's not like you are aiming to be best buds and braid each other hair or anything. But speaking your mind and finding common ground can build a better, more authentic and trusting relationship in the long run.

Or you can take the lead of a friend of mine who would have her first meeting with a new boss, tell them how she likes to get feedback from them and then ask, "How do you like to receive feedback from me?"

#doonethingbetter #leadership #feedback